


you make it better

by Anonymous



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: (kojiro is Not a sadist), Bickering, Dick Jokes, Dirty Talk, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Lots of it, M/M, Nanjo Kojiro | Joe Has a Big Dick, Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom is a Masochist, Smut, and because it bears repeating, carla's got the lights, dad jokes about dicks?, kaoru is demiromantic, kaoru's got anxiety, kojiro has a really fucking massive dick, more like friends? to lovers, only insults, post ep. 9, there are no pet names here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 22:41:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30028944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: after kaoru's race with adam, he and kojiro have some things to talk about. at least, kojiro would really like to talk.(or: kaoru doesn't like facing his feelings, kojori and kaoru can't stop bickering, and kojiro's dick is really very large)
Relationships: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom
Comments: 7
Kudos: 293
Collections: Anonymous





	you make it better

**Author's Note:**

> let it be known that i binged sk8 in one day and wrote this on my phone in some sort of fever dream the next morning (i.e. pls forgive any typos)
> 
> i think it's important to know that this ship name is matchablossom (wtfwtfwtf it's so cute) so i wanted to put that here in case any of you weren't aware
> 
> anyway, please accept this as the strangely argumentative love letter it is 
> 
> (and, i really can't stress this enough, kojiro's dick is so big)
> 
> TW:
> 
> the word slut used a few times in a non-derogatory & fully consensual way
> 
> mentions of tearing during penetration, but full lengths gone to to ensure that does not happen

“i thought we’d already talked about this,” kaoru grunted, falling back down against the pillows at kojiro’s stern (but always achingly gentle) glare. 

“you know we didn’t.” kojiro was sitting backward in the desk chair in that way that always drove kaoru crazy. “we talked about the skating part. we didn’t talk about him.”

“well maybe i don’t want to,” kaoru mumbled, petty and a little whiny, but he didn’t like the way his skin prickled uncomfortably at the idea of talking about it. he felt very conscious of the bandages still wrapped around him here and there, marring his otherwise flawless presentation.

kojiro sighed and kaoru heard the rumble of the chair as kojiro wheeled it closer. “i’m not asking cherry. i’m asking _you_ , kaoru. and i’m asking because i was there. i was there with you before this, before- before _adam_. and i’ve been here the whole time. so i’m asking you again, kaoru: how _are_ you?”

it was horrible of him, kaoru thought, to be so fucking good all the time. it would be so easy to use all that muscle and brawn and talent and (though kaoru would never admit it out loud) brain to be just like adam, or some other kojiro-specific brand of bully. but he was so damn good. kaoru bit his teeth together and blinked up at the ceiling, vision blurry without his glasses or contacts in. 

“i’m fine,” kaoru ground out. “i just. i guess i thought there was a chance.”

“to beat him?”

kaoru shrugged one shoulder half-heartedly. “that too. i don’t know. it just… it feels like it wasn’t even that long ago, you know?” one hand came up of its own accord to thumb at the faint divot under his lip, the only remainder of the piercing he’d once been so proud of. “sometimes it feels like yesterday. and i guess… i guess i’d convinced myself it wasn’t too late. that too much hadn’t happened between then and now, that we hadn’t- that _he_ hadn’t changed so much.” he scoffed, but it came out a little shakier than he’d meant for it to. his hand dropped back to the mattress, fisting tight around the sheets. “i was wrong.”

“kaoru-“

“it’s fine,” kaoru cut him off, not really wanting kanjiro’s pity. certainly not now. “it’s fine. it was a wake-up call. there’s no use in entertaining thoughts like that, not when they’re unattainable. it… it snapped me out of it. things aren’t like they used to be, it’s time i opened my eyes and saw that.”

kojiro sighed, a big disappointed thing that made kaoru want to hide inside the hoodie that he only ever wore in the privacy of his own home (or kojiro’s). “kaoru, you’re allowed to be upset.”

“i know.”

“so then why are you trying to hide it? from me, of all people?”

“i’m not,” kaoru bit back, shutting his eyes. his head was starting to hurt again. “i’m just not upset.” 

“bullshit. it hurt you.”

“obviously,” kojiro taunted, waving a hand in a gesture at his whole body. “i was in the hospital for days.”

“also bullshit because you kept sneaking out, idiot, but you know that’s not what i meant.”

“please, all-knowing one, enlighten me then,” kaoru drawled, wishing this conversation would just end already. 

“it hurt you when he did that. you thought that, maybe, if you won, you could show him what he’d been missing. make him see how things could have been if he’d stayed. how things could be now if he came back. and you thought, at the very least, with your history, he’d never hurt you. so when he did that, he snatched all that hope away. everything you’d kept holding on to, hoping for, he just took that away all at once. and now you don’t even know if you ever mattered to him the way he did to you.”

“shut up.”

“i’m right, though, aren’t i?”

“i said, shut up.”

“kaoru, you can _be_ mad. you can be sad, or hurt, or betrayed, or anything else you need to be-“

“i said _shut up!_ ” kaoru yelled, sitting up violently and turning a vicious glare to kojiro. kojiro didn’t flinch. kaoru knew better than to try to intimidate him, and, honestly, he didn’t have the patience to wait him out right now. “carla,” kaoru spit, not even waiting for the familiar soothing voice to respond, “make sure to lock the door behind nanjo when he leaves.” he turned back towards the wall and lied down, back facing kojiro and the rest of the room. “you can go now.”

there was a stubborn silence that kaoru wished he could say was unfamiliar. he shut his eyes and tried to count his heartbeat, as unsteady and aggravating as it was. he just wanted to sleep. his body still hurt from the tournament. his head was hurting from both the remnants of the concussion and the seemingly ever-present migraines that accompanied his anxiety. he just wanted to _sleep_ , to close his eyes and stop seeing adam’s wicked grin and dead eyes, to stop seeing the black deck of adam's board as it came slamming towards him. he wanted… he just wanted to forget about it. and here kojiro was, bringing it all back up like some six-figure shrink.

“just go, kojiro.”

“i’m not going.”

“i don’t want to talk about him anymore,” kaoru muttered, “i already told you i’m fine. you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

he heard kojiro scoff behind him, a strange mix of exasperation and offense. “is that what you think?”

“you’re not the one who raced him.”

“that doesn’t mean i don’t know, kaoru. you think i’m just making this up? you think i think it’s fun to psychoanalyze you? i _know_ because _i felt it too_.” it was rare to hear kojiro affected, truly riled up, outside of their nonstop bickering. kaoru felt his stomach flip. kojiro continued. “i was there for all of it to, kaoru. i was there from the start, i had the same stupid hope that you did, the same belief that we still meant _something_ to him. so, yeah, i _know_ it hurt like hell, because it hurt me too. and if- maybe i’m wrong. maybe it’s just me that feels this way. but- kaoru, if you do too, you shouldn’t have to be alone with it. not when i’m right here. just… just let me in for once, dammit. it feels like i’m always losing everyone and-“

kaoru wasn’t really supposed to move much still, certainly not to make quick or sudden movements, but he wasn’t thinking about that when he launched himself from his bed and over to kojiro, dropping to his knees beside his friend and slipping his arms around kojiro’s waist, tucking his face into the side of his body.

“m’sorry,” he mumbled, kojiro stiff from shock but slowly relaxing. “i didn’t think… i’m selfish, i’m sorry.”

kojiro’s big hand came down to kaoru’s head, fingers threading into his long pink hair and smoothing it down, working it free of the yellow ribbon tying it back. “it’s okay,” kojiro said softly. “i didn’t mean it to scold you, i just… it’s been hard for me, too. and i didn’t want you to be going through it alone.”

“you were too,” kaoru pouted, guilt seeping into his words. “i didn’t even notice.”

“it’s fine,” kojiro dismissed easily. “i was just worried about you.”

at that, kaoru pulled back with a glare. “you can’t just worry about me and forget about yourself, imbecile. worry about yourself, for a change, and stop struggling through things you don’t have to.”

“what, now you’re worried about me?” kojiro teased. kaoru scowled.

“this is a two-way street, dim-wit. you should’ve said something sooner.”

“you wouldn’t let me! every time i brought it up, you changed the topic, you prick!”

“that was when you made it about _me_ , asshat! i’m telling you you should have told me that _you_ were upset!”

“and why would i do that when you weren’t telling me anything? it’s a two-way street,” kojiro hissed, “if you can’t trust me, then-”

“i trust you,” kaoru said, anger fizzling away quickly, confusion and something equally unpleasant taking its place. kojiro stopped talking, his body stiff again. kaoru couldn’t really make out his expression without his glasses. “i trust you,” he repeated. “do you… do you not- do you think i don’t?”

kojiro’s big shoulders shrugging was impossible to miss even with his shitty eyesight. he caught a flash of dark green as kojiro tilted his head away. “i… i don’t know. it’s hard to tell with you sometimes.”

kaoru didn’t like that. he would, with anyone else, but not with kojiro. kojiro was the only person kaoru didn’t have to try to hide around. sometimes it was hard to turn it off, the pretending, but with kojiro, he never had to worry about if it slipped. he never worried with kojiro.

“i do. i trust you. more than anyone.” kaoru tried to keep his eyes on kojiro, to not look away or hide. “i’m. i’m bad at showing it, i know, but you’re… i never have to think around you.”

“that sounds like an insult to my intelligence,” kojiro grunted, though he sounded more interested than offended.

“i _mean_ , with you i’m not- i don’t have to worry about being sakurayashiki or cherry blossom, i’m just- i can just be kaoru, and i don’t have to _think_ about it, i just _am_. i’m always thinking, kojiro, all the time, but when i’m with you, you make me feel like i can just be. and that’s- that’s bigger than trust to me. that’s… trust is a part of it, i trust you, but it’s more than that. it’s- i feel safe when i’m with you. all the things in my head just shut up for once and i know that i’m okay, that i’ll be okay, because it’s you. i’m sorry if… i’m sorry if i don’t show it.”

kojiro was relaxed again, hunched over the back of the chair and looking down at kaoru softly. his hand was back in kaoru’s hair, untangled the ends this time, and each accidental tug at kaoru’s scalp made him feel a bit like he was melting. 

“it’s okay,” kojiro said again, in his infinite gentleness. “i know it’s not easy for you, you don’t show it like other people do. and i _know_ you do, it’s just. it’s easy to second guess with you. you should… you should tell me more. it’s okay if you don’t always show it, but you should tell me sometimes. so i don’t forget.”

kaoru nodded, ducked his head onto kojiro’s leg. “if you ever doubt it, tell me and i’ll remind you.”

kojiro sniffled and laughed a bit, moving his hand to ruffle kaoru’s hair messily. “you’re a bit of a sap, kaoru, you know that?”

“i can still have carla kick you out,” kaoru mumbled, but they both knew it was an empty threat. “come on, i’m not supposed to put pressure on my knees like this right now.” kaoru slipped up to his feet, putting unnecessary pressure on kojiro’s thigh as he stood, and (gently) tumbled back onto his bed. “wait, actually, can you get my pain meds from the kitchen first?”

kojiro hummed as he dismounted the chair and spun it back under the desk. “yeah. anything else? you want ice, or?”

“it’s just my head mainly, meds are fine.”

kojiro came back with water and two pills, and kaoru sat up again to swallow them down, sighing at the immediate relief of cool water on his tongue. kojiro set the glass back on the desk when kaoru was done, and then he moved to join kaoru on the bed. 

“what do you think you’re doing,” kaoru grunted, stopping kojiro before he could flop down. kojiro gave an exasperated sigh and backed off grumbling.

“you’re such a pain in the ass,” he complained as he began shedding his outside clothes layer by layer. “how come you can wear your hoodie and sweats on the bed and i have to be in my fucking underwear?”

“i’ve told you before,” kaoru retorted unsympathetically, “if you would just bring a pair of _indoor_ clothes, this wouldn’t be an issue.”

“i don’t even get that dirty!”

“the _world_ is dirty, kojiro!”

“you’re such a brat,” kojiro mumbled, but by that time he was down to his boxers and climbing into bed, sliding into place beside kaoru like he had a million times before. they both knew his complaints were for show; kojiro overheated at night anyways and would end up in his underwear one way or another, it was just a matter of time.

“hey, kojiro,” kaoru murmured a minute later, once they were both comfortable. “you were right.”

“about?”

“him. adam. before, now.” he stared blankly at the wall beside him. “carla? the lights, please.” carla’s voice came through, accepting diligently, and the lights dimmed down to nothing. “it did hurt. i was doing all the things you said i was. and when he… everything he did felt like a reminder that we were nothing to him. that i was…” he broke off with a shaky breath. he could feel the heat of kojiro’s body behind him where the bigger man lay flat on his back as always, just close enough to feel without touching. “did i ever- did i ever tell you that he kissed me?”

kojiro was silent for a minute and kaoru held his breath. then, “no,” tired sounding and resigned. 

“it was back then, before he left. when he first started skating the way he does now. i found him doing something, i don’t even remember what it was now, but it was stupid and reckless and dangerous, and i tried to tell him. i yelled at him a bit, i think, and he just kept _smiling_ the way he does. then he told me i should skate with him, that i might be able to keep up if i stopped worrying so much, stopped getting so caught up in the logistics. i asked him if safety was a logistic to him, and he just laughed and then he kissed me.”

kojiro’s breathing was so steady and even that kaoru could count along with it. which meant kojiro was counting it too, keeping it the same rhythmic in-out on purpose.

“i didn’t know what to do. i was confused because i didn’t know where it’d come from, but at the same time… at the same time, it was _him_ , you know? he was so… i was shocked that he’d even thought for a minute that i might be someone he’d like to kiss. so i went with it. but then, when it ended, he kept talking about how much better i could be, how much we could do, the two of us, if i let loose and did everything i wanted to, everything i could. i snapped out of it then, pushed him off and yelled at him for being so reckless, for pushing himself faster and faster down this downward spiral. he just gave me this look, like he was already tired of me, like he hadn’t just-“ kaoru took a stuttered breath, curling in on himself a bit. “i left then. he wasn’t listening to me, and everything he did just confused me more and more, so i left him be. and a few weeks later, he was the one leaving. we never talked about it.”

kojiro was silent still and kaoru wanted to turn around and beg him to say something. he held still, though. 

finally, “did you like him?”

“back then?” kaoru shook his head. “not like that. there was a moment, when he kissed me, where i thought, _maybe?_ but that’s just the way he was. is, i guess. he sucks people in, makes you feel like you’re drowning, and it’s impossible to tell up from down. but no, i never felt that way about him.”

kojiro made a little noise that showed he’d heard, but didn’t say anything else for several long minutes. and then, “can i kiss you?”

kaoru froze. “what?”

“can i kiss you?” kojiro sounded more curious than anything, no hint of pressure in his voice, his body still lying still and flat against the bed. meanwhile, kaoru felt like he’d just touched a live wire. “it feels… i don’t like knowing that he did that. that… i don’t know. it feels wrong.” kojiro wasn’t always the most eloquent, but he was usually very good at expressing himself, so this kind of messy phrasing usually meant a messy mind. kaoru slowly and carefully flipped onto his opposite side, looking up at kojiro’s head where it rested on the pillows, eyes fixed on the dark ceiling.

“what do you mean.”

kojiro’s breathing finally shifted, stumbling away from his measured counts. “i don’t know. hearing that just makes me- i just-” he made a frustrated sound. “it’s dumb, but i feel like if i kissed you, i could erase the fact that he did. and then… and then you wouldn’t hurt so much, because i wouldn’t play with you like he did. and i wouldn’t leave like he did. so my kiss wouldn’t hurt you.”

kaoru blinked. “you want to kiss me… to help me?”

kojiro made a face and shrugged. “i guess, in a way. but… i mean, i’m pretty sure i want to kiss you for me. it’s selfish. you can say no.”

“i… i don’t want to.”

he felt more than saw the way kojiro shrunk in on himself a bit, a barely noticeable flinch. "that’s okay, kaoru, you don’t have to.”

“no, i- i don’t want to say no.” kaoru’s voice trailed off into a shaky whisper, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed by it, not when his whole body was thrumming with a nervous kind of anticipation. he stared up at kojiro’s black-on-black silhouette in the dark. “you can kiss me.”

the silence seemed to stretch forever before kojiro shifted, rolling onto his side to look at kaoru. the whites of his eyes were barely visible. “are you sure?” he asked, eyes trailing over kaoru’s face. “you don’t have to-”

“i know. i want to.” kaoru let out a strained laugh, “you’re acting like we’ve never done this before.”

kojiro nudged him weakly, but didn’t mention the tremor in his voice. “that was a long time ago. this is different. and… i don’t know. i wouldn’t want it to be like it was that time. i- if i kiss you now, i don’t want it to be just this. i want… i want to be allowed to kiss you whenever. and- and touch you, and, and. all of that. i don’t want it to just be tonight.”

it was too honest, kaoru could tell by the way kojiro’s breath turned shallow, a hint of fear trickling in. but kaoru couldn’t bring himself to feel afraid. kojiro was as steady and strong and safe as he’d ever been. kaoru wasn’t a very romantic person, love wasn’t something he thought about often (or, at times, even knew if he was really capable of), but. if he were to love, if he were to be with someone, he couldn’t imagine it being anyone but kojiro. 

“okay.” kaoru shifted forward just a little, closing the distance between them and reaching one hesitant hand up to kojiro’s broad chest, warm and solid under his touch. “it’ll be different. whatever you want, we can try it. i can’t promise you everything, i don’t know how things will end up, but… but yeah. i’ll try it if it’s you.”

“fuck.”

kaoru laughed, some tension dissolving between them. “don’t think so hard, kojiro, you’ll hurt yourself.” 

“shut up,” kojiro muttered, but there was no bite to it. 

“if you’re not going to kiss me,” kaoru murmured, drawing closer, “i’ll have to do it my- _mmph_!”

the last (and only) time they had kissed, they’d been teenagers, angsty and confused and trying to fill a gap they’d suddenly been left with. they’d been popular enough back then that they knew how it worked, had done it before, but neither of them could really call themselves experienced, much less good. it had been messy and a little awkward, two friends looking for comfort or catharsis or something else they were still too young to provide.

this wasn’t that. they were grown now, and neither of them had had any shortage of interested people in the past years, men and women alike (though men and women hadn’t been the limit either). now, kojiro kissed him like he’d earned all the whispered praise and shrieking fans, like he’d spent the last ten or so years since their last kiss practicing just for this moment, and kaoru felt a possessive sort of pride rise in him. all those people, and kojiro had ended up right back here with him, hands and lips and body expert now, but all for him. 

kaoru, for his part, had gotten better too, and he didn’t hold anything back now. all of it, he thought absently, had been for kojiro all along, it seemed. all of it so that he could be here now, swinging one bandaged leg over kojiro’s hip and rolling him onto his back, sitting back on him and leaning over to kiss him harder, to hear kojiro’s grunt and hiss from the force of it even as his broad hands found kaoru’s hips and pulled him closer. 

“kaoru-” kojiro panted, one hand reaching up and tangling in the pink mess of kaoru’s hair, tugging his head back and kissing up the length of his throat. “kaoru, we should-”

“if you suggest stopping i will buy your restaurant and give it to mcdonalds for free, so think carefully,” kaoru muttered, fingers kneading the muscles of kojiro’s chest and arms. he felt the rumble of kojiro’s laugh under his hands.

“don’t touch my restaurant,” kojiro half-threatened. “i was gonna say that we should get you out of your clothes, you little prude.”

“who are you calling a prude,” kaoru spit, drawing back to rip his hoodie off, letting kojiro move them into a position where he could get his sweatpants and boxer briefs off too.

“would you rather i call you a slut?” kojiro teased, laughter in his voice even as his hands smoothed down the length of kaoru’s hips, down the bare front of kaoru’s lean thighs. 

kaoru jerked up to kiss him hard, teeth biting at the curve of kojiro’s smile. “better yet,” he growled, “i’ll prove it.”

“fuck,” kojiro cursed again, but it was muffled by kaoru’s mouth on his.

“get these off,” kaoru grumbled, snapping the waistband of kojiro’s briefs. “your cock better be as big as you always say it is, or i’ll be disappointed.”

“you’re such a dick,” kojiro gasped, but he sat back on his heels and stripped his underwear off quickly. it was kaoru’s turn to curse, eyes half adjusted to the dark.

“fuck. how does this thing even fit inside someone,” he muttered in disbelief, sitting up and reaching forward to wrap a hand around kojiro’s bobbing erection. “you’re so hard already. carla, low lights, please.”

“god, don’t talk to that thing when you have a hand on my dick, you asshole,” kojiro growled, but his eyes were hungry when the lights came on a little at a time, bathing them in enough light to finally take each other in. “fuck, you’re so pretty, what the fuck.”

kaoru preened a bit at the praise, knowing how he looked like this: all long, lean muscle and smooth, pale skin (he tried to ignore the crisscrossing ivory scars that marred his skin, heavy on his knees and elbows, forearms and shins. it was part of the territory with skating, but it had never been something kaoru particularly liked). his hair draped heavy over his shoulders and down his back, loose strands falling in front of his eyes as he blinked up at kojiro. 

“your vocabulary isn’t very impressive when you’re horny, is it?”

“sorry, didn’t know i had to sweet talk you. should i tell you how beautiful the moon is tonight?”

kaoru pretended his heart didn’t do a thing at the words. instead, he leaned forward to trace a feather-light line down from the corner of kojiro’s jaw to the hollow of his throat with the tip of his nose. his fucking pecs made kaoru feel dizzy, and with the hand that wasn’t holding kojiro’s heavy dick, he reached up to grope his chest shamelessly. “i don’t think you need to talk,” kaoru purred, nibbling at the skin of kojiro’s throat. “let’s just find out if you’ll fit inside me.”

“you’re gonna kill me, i think,” kojiro muttered, but he didn’t sound put off by it, and kaoru muffled a laugh against his skin. 

“come on,” kaoru invited, lying back on his pillows (ignoring the desire he had to stay glued to kojiro even at the sacrifice of getting fucked silly), “i’m going to need stretching if you want to have a chance.”

“here you were two minutes ago, _kojiro, you better be as big as they say!_ and now look at you,” kojiro whined, rifling through kaoru’s nightstand for some lube. “ _you’re too big, kojiro! you won’t fit, kojiro!_ ”

“i do _not_ sound like that, you overgrown gorilla,” kaoru hissed, slapping uselessly at what he could reach of kojiro’s body. “besides, i’m getting that thing in me whether it fits or not, there’s no such thing as too big.”

“ _fucking hell_ , kaoru, you’re a maniac,” kojiro hissed, staring down at kaoru like he was seeing him for the first time. kaoru just smiled back, toying just at the edge of innocence and sin itself. before he could say anything else to rile kojiro up, kojiro curled over him, broad body blocking his from everything else. “i’m not gonna hurt you, though,” kojiro mumbled, too sweet to stomach. “if it doesn’t fit we’re doing something else.”

“you’re a loser.” kaoru hoped the low light made his blush less obvious, but it was always impossible to hide it with his skin tone. “i hope you choke.”

“coward,” kojiro whispered against his lips, and then they were kissing again. 

kaoru arched into it, hands moving to hold kojiro’s shoulders- fuck, he was so _big_ , so fucking strong- and pulling him closer. kojiro, for all his bigness and strength, moved easily at kaoru’s touch, settling over him with one elbow by his head and a solid thigh between his legs. as soon as he pressed down, kaoru moaned, the feeling of thick muscle and warm skin against his aching cock making him hungry for more.

kojiro’s free hand traced over kaoru’s erection with wet fingers, a barely-there kind of touch that made kaoru shiver but provided no relief, and kaoru bit kojiro’s tongue as the fingers slipped down between his legs and past his balls, dipping into the crack and finding his hole.

“yes,” kaoru hissed, “in.”

“you’re so bossy,” kojiro scolded, nipping at his chin. “let me take my time.”

kaoru scowled, but it was kissed off his lips before it had a chance to reach full force. “i don’t want you to take your time, i want you to _fuck me_.”

kojiro pushed his finger in punishingly fast, and kaoru jumped at the intrusion. kojiro’s fingers were much thicker than his, which he objectively knew, but it certainly had never felt more real than it did right now.

“ _yes_ ,” kaoru growled, grinding down for more, “another. your hands- _hh_ \- so _big_.”

kojiro snickered into his mouth, curling his finger, thrusting it slowly in and out. “you really are a slut, huh? you’d rather be torn open than empty.”

and kaoru had never put it _that_ way before, but… “yes,” he panted, “i always want something in me.” he looked up at kojiro through his lashes. “i have a collection of toys, sometimes i wear them out all day so i don’t have to feel empty. sometimes i wear them to s, skate beefs while all i can think about is getting home and fucking myself open.”

the hungry look on kojiro’s face felt like fuel to kaoru’s fire, and he couldn’t help but smile wickedly up at him and rock his hips down. 

“you should help me from now on,” he invited. kojiro stuffed him with another finger, and kaoru lost his breath.

“ _i_ think,” kojiro rumbled, “that you should have asked me to help you forever ago.”

kaoru grinned hazily, kojiro’s fingers scissoring inside of him. “maybe you should make up for lost time.”

“maybe you should shut your mouth before i lose my mind, you fucking incubus.”

kaoru laughed, running his hands up and back through kojiro’s untamable mess of hair. “i think i would like it if you lost your mind,” he simpered, earning a nose scrunch and eye roll from kojiro. “but i’ll take you like this too, as long as you pick up the pace.”

“if you break,” kojiro threatened as he eased in a third finger, “i’m never touching you again.”

“now, that seems like an overreaction,” kaoru argued. “i’d happily let you break me.”

“who knew you were such a masochist, what the hell.”

kaoru bit his lip to keep from laughing again, but from kojiro’s reaction it was still clear on his face. “come on, you big baby,” kaoru chuckled, “just kiss me and get inside me.”

“i think you’re insane,” kojiro mumbled, but he was kissing him anyway, and kaoru grinned into it. 

“you like it.”

“i think i’m insane, too,” kojiro shot back. he pushed a third finger in, and kaoru’s mouth fell open, his brain emptying for a minute of everything except how good kojiro felt inside him, his fingers alone doing more than kaoru’s toys could ever hope to. 

“s’good,” he managed to slur, “your fingers… so good, ‘jiro.”

“demon,” kojiro retorted, not sounding much less affected. “i did _not_ know what i was getting myself into.”

kaoru laughed, a little strained as kojiro’s fingers brushed past his prostate. “all this for a kiss, huh? you must really hate ada- _ahh!_ ”

kojiro pressed relentlessly right on his sweet spot until kaoru was panting, eyes barely able to stay open. “no talking about other men when we’re about to fuck,” he grunted, a hint of a pout on his handsome face. kaoru managed a laugh and thumbed at the corner of kojiro’s downturned lips.

“you want me all for yourself?” kaoru teased, breathy and shaky as kojiro fucked his fingers deeper. “look at yourself, you idiot. with all _that_ , no one else will even fit.”

kojiro groaned, fingers stilling as his head dropped against kaoru’s shoulder. kaoru shook with barely concealed laughter. “i hate you,” kojiro mumbled. “all that iq, and you’re still a fucking idiot.”

“an idiot you’re about to fuck,” kaoru reminded, “if you stop being a prick and teasing me.”

“i’m not teasing, i’m literally prepping you! you’re so whiny, i swear you're gonna make my dick soft.”

kaoru scoffed, reaching one hand down to squeeze kojiro’s very hard, very wet dick. “with how much blood it takes to fill this bad boy, i think that would take a while, so don’t worry about it.”

“i want to stop,” kojiro whined miserably, “i take it all back. kaoru, you’re ugly and pink makes you look jaundiced.”

“you’re reaching,” kaoru consoled, “there are plenty of outs you could have taken, but my looks? not one.”

“dumbass.”

kaoru’s quick retort was silenced as kojiro drew his fingers out, a wet squelch accompanying it that made both of them wince. kaoru felt breathless when kojiro sat back on his heels and pushed kaoru’s knees up, reaching down to grab his ass and pull him apart. kojiro’s gaze felt like burning lead, heavy and hot as it took kaoru in, trailing over his flushed chest, trembling stomach wet with precum, pink cock, dripping, gaping hole.

“condoms?” kojiro asked after a minute, voice _rough_.

kaoru raised a critical eyebrow and looked pointedly down at kojiro’s cock. “for _that_ monster? i have baggies in the kitchen.”

“that’s it, i’m leaving.”

kaoru wrapped his legs around kojiro’s hips and hips and pulled him closer with a winning smile. “just raw me, doofus.”

kojiro choked. “what the fuck.” kaoru snickered. “i just- i mean- i’m… clean. if you want.” 

kaoru thought he might be drooling. “yeah. me too. i- fuck, i want your cum inside me so bad it hurts.”

“your _fucking_ mouth,” kojiro growled, and then he was lining himself up, the head of his cock heavy and fat and hot, and pushing in, slow, _slow_ , and, fuck-

“w-wait,” kaoru hissed, “if you don’t want me breaking, i suggest you- _fuck_ \- wait a minute.”

kojiro didn’t even look like he could speak, but he stopped moving with a groan, head dropped down, hands shaking where he held kaoru’s hips. kaoru squeezed his eyes shut and fisted the sheets beside him, focusing on steadying his breath instead of the sharp pleasure-pain where kojiro’s cock stretched him out.

“l-lube,” he muttered, “more lube.”

“fuck,” kojiro grabbed the lube, snapping it open and pouring it liberally between their bodies. “gonna- gonna pull out a bit, okay?”

kaoru nodded, biting his lip with a whimper as kojiro moved out slowly, letting the lube drip down over his tip and kaoru’s rim. 

“again?”

kaoru didn’t hesitate, reaching for kojiro with one hand and urging him closer. his legs shook where they were hooked behind kojiro’s knees, but it didn’t stop the _craving_ inside him. “again.”

kojiro pushed in again, slow and careful, and kaoru let him move, breathed through it as he kept pushing in.

“f-fuck,” kaoru moaned, “you never fucking end.”

“you like it,” kojiro grunted, “bet you’ve never felt this full, have you?”

kaoru’s head rolled back, mouth parting in useless pants. “n-never, only you and your- _fuhhh-ck_ \- massive fucking cock.”

kojiro bottomed out with a shove that left them both reeling. “how do you manage to be so annoying even now,” kojiro muttered breathlessly, but the heaving of his chest and the beads of sweat rolling down his tanned skin gave him away.

“m-maybe you should fuck it out of me.”

kojiro conceded easily, easing out and snapping back in with a single move. it was fast and sudden and kaoru wasn’t really adjusted all the way yet, but kojiro filled him so well, and kaoru liked the sting of it, liked that he knew already that he’d be feeling this for days.

“more,” he managed, his hand finding kojiro’s hair and tangling in the thick green strands, pulling desperately as he felt himself unraveling under the pressure. “don’t stop, kojiro, i- i need more, want more, don’t stop.”

“q-quit whining.” kojiro had both hands on the tops of kaoru’s thighs, using them as leverage to pull himself deeper with every thrust, and with his size, it was impossible to not rub right on kaoru’s prostate with every thrust. kaoru was coming undone, skin shining with sweat, pink hair spread across the sheets like cherry blossoms in the spring, and kojiro punctuated each thrust with a bite or kiss or lick to the pale skin of kaoru’s chest, scattering marks like petals. “kaoru,” he murmured, biting and tugging a pink nipple into his mouth, “you know you’re mine, right?”

kaoru keened, feeling lightheaded from the sheer pleasure, kojiro’s heat and safety clouding all his senses. “k-kojiro.” his hands slipped against kojiro’s slick skin, but he managed to pull him up, crash their mouths together in a messy kiss. “fuck. ‘m yours, all yours. but- _ah, fuck_ \- you belong to me, too. _mine_.”

kojiro just kissed him harder, so all he could taste was _kojiro_ , all he could feel, see, hear, was kojiro. _his_. 

“mine, mine, mine,” kaoru chanted, eyes rolling shut, “kojiro, my kojiro.”

“ _fuck_ ,” kojiro hissed, hips stuttering, “shut up before i come.”

“do it,” kaoru all but begged, “give it to me, i want it, come on, i- _ahh_.”

“kaoru,” kojiro cursed, fingers digging into the meat of kaoru’s thighs hard enough to bruise. “you fucking b-bastard, let me touch you.”

kaoru shook his head desperately, scrambling to grab hold of kojiro’s hands and pull them up past his head. “just like this,” he pleaded, “just a little more, please, please. come for me, come on, kojiro.”

kojiro’s head fell to kaoru’s chest, his hair tickling at kaoru’s throat. his pace was punishing, and picked up slowly, inching faster as he chased his release. “kaoru…” kojiro breathed his name like a prayer, like it was the only thing he knew how to say, and kaoru whimpered, squeezed his thighs tighter around kojiro’s waist. “kaoru, kaoru- gonna- m’gonna come.”

“come,” kaoru gasped, a challenge in his voice, “do it, come on, you selfish a- a _h_ -! yes! yes, yes, more, kojiro-!”

he could feel everything, every pulse of kojiro’s cock, every drop of cum that filled him more and more, and-

“c-coming-” kaoru barely had time to warn before he was falling apart, pleasure like electricity shooting through him as he curled off the bed, clinging to kojiro like an anchor. he barely felt the splash of come on his stomach, or the too-tight grip of kojiro’s hand on him, all he could focus on was the white-hot pleasure racing through him, leaving him shaking in its wake.

“f-fuck.” kojiro was the first to come to, fingers loosening their grip, head lifting up from kaoru’s chest. “fuck. kaoru. gonna pull out, that okay?”

karou whimpered at the thought of being empty, but the stretch and friction of kojiro’s cock was already becoming too much. he nodded, eyes squeezed shut and lips bitten hard as kojiro pulled out slowly, gently. the immediate emptiness almost made him want to cry, but before he could, kojiro was slipping a finger right back into him. almost instantly, kaoru clenched around it with a whine.

“helps?” kojiro asked, voice tired and soft. kaoru nodded, finally catching his breath and blinking his eyes open. kojiro was looking down at him with a beautifully tender expression on his face. “you okay?” he asked, his free hand petting down the length of kaoru’s body in soothing strokes. kaoru murmured in assent and let his eyes slip shut again.

they lied there for a minute more before kaoru managed to wrangle up enough energy to shift his hips away from kojiro. kojiro took the hint and pulled his finger out gently, rubbing kaoru’s thigh with his other hand to soothe the ache. “c’we get clean?” kaoru mumbled, barely intelligible as exhaustion weighed his tongue down. “feel sticky. s’gross.”

kojiro chuckled, sounding just as tired as him, and nodded. “i’ll get a towel. you should make a carla bot to do things like this, though. just a thought.”

it earned him a slap that had a surprising amount of force behind it given the circumstances, but he was already laughing and climbing out of bed anyway. 

kaoru looked up at his ceiling in the following silence. his body felt like it was thrumming, and a not-insignificant portion of it was bone-deep soreness that he knew wouldn’t go away any time soon. he probably should have waited until he was fully healed to do something like this. _worth it, though_. 

“kaoru.” kojiro drew his attention as he stepped back into the room, a damp towel hanging from one hand. his body, clearly already wiped down, looked more mouthwatering and intimidating than it ever had before, but kaoru was too worn out to feel hot and bothered by it. instead, he held an arm out and grabbed uselessly for kojiro. 

“big, strong, beefy man,” he mumbled, grabbing hold of kojiro’s wrist when he got close enough. kojiro chuckled and started wiping him down carefully. “hmm. big, strong, gentle, beefy man. good man.”

kojiro blushed and pinched the inside of kaoru’s thigh, making him whine. “shut up.”

“what, i can’t compliment my boyfriend?” kaoru muttered, pouting sullenly. “just wanted to tell you you’re beefy and nice, is that too much? i let you fuck my brains out and i don’t even get to compli-”

“boyfriend?”

kaoru looked down to find kojiro frozen by his legs, blinking up at him with wide eyes. kaoru frowned. “yes? unless you meant something else when you said i was yours?”

kojiro flushed bright red- an impressive feat considering his perpetually even tan- and blinked four times in rapid succession. “i- i didn’t really… mean to say that out loud.”

“but you meant it?”

kojiro hesitated before nodding. kaoru shrugged and looked back to the ceiling, swallowing to ease his heart which had suddenly jumped up into his throat for inexplicable reasons. 

“then i don’t see why not. unless you don’t want it…?”

“no! no, i do. i… yes. i want it. you.”

“you seem a little overwhelmed,” kaoru teased, feeling a little overwhelmed himself. “you sure you’re okay with it.”

kojiro finished wiping him in two quick strokes and threw the towel away aimlessly. before kaoru could scold him, kojiro was over him once more, body heavy and sturdy as it pinned him down. “i want it,” kojiro murmured, leaning down to kiss kaoru. “i want you. i’ve wanted you for ages, you elitist snob. i hate you.”

kaoru giggled into the kiss, his own hands finding kojiro’s cheeks and pulling him closer. “okay. that’s settled then.” all the hurt from earlier had vanished under kojiro’s touch. all kaoru could feel now was something that felt a lot like blind hope, and something else, a lot stronger, that he didn’t really know how to name. it was fine for now, he’d find a name for it eventually. “how do you think your fan club will feel when they find out?”

kojiro scoffed and bit at his lip, too gentle to hurt. “how do you think _your_ fan club will feel when they find out their precious lord cherry is taking it up the ass from _me_?”

“hey, now,” kaoru warned, a blush coloring his cheeks, “no need to be so vulgar. carla, lights, please.”

“i hate you,” kojiro chuckled into another kiss. kaoru couldn’t help but think that he meant something very different. the words sounded a lot like how the thing in his chest felt.

“i hate you too, idiot.”

“hate you more.”

“i hope you choke.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to leave a comment/kudos !! maybe i'll write a renga fic someday bc i Love Them immensely but for now ! this is my little trip into the sk8 world, pls treat me well


End file.
